The Abundant Single Life!

“Surrender to God is the only way to go from a promise given to a promise fulfilled.”  ~Mercy Lokulutu If you had asked me when I thought I would get married over a decade ago, I would have said, “Soon!” That was my heart’s desires (it still is), and I had no reason to believe it wouldn’t come about on my timetable. But the years passed, I dated a few guys, learned a lot, grew a lot, recovered from having a broken heart more times than anyone should have to, and to this day am still waiting to be joined with the love of my life. Keeping hope alive in my heart has been difficult at times, especially during certain seasons. There were those seasons of recovering from a break up and wondering if my heart could go through getting to know another man. The pain of love lost was so strong and yet each time, God gave me grace to heal and opened my heart to love again. Then there were those seasons when I went years, not days, not months, but y-e-a-r-s without a s...

I recently asked God how He wanted me to position my heart about my future marriage. His answer was to be expectant but not to have expectations. I argued with Him because the truth is it is easier to have an attitude of “oh someday I will be married and my dreams will come true.” But having a heart of expectancy makes me feel like it is immanent…like there is a date in time that has been scheduled for my Divine union with my spouse and it could be just around the corner. The truth is, God does have that date set…I just don’t know what it is yet. It is the uncertainty of the details that makes me uncomfortable. This requires me to exercise my faith, hope, and trust muscles. The difference between expectancy and expectations Let’s take a look at the difference between having expectancy and having expectations. This is how I like to define it. Expectancy attracts what I believe God for through faith with a heart of surrender to the Lord to bring it about however He wants to....

Sex. The Church has been silent about the topic for too long. Unfortunately, it is a taboo topic for many Christ followers. Yet sex is powerful. It is valuable. It is a gift and worth celebrating within the context in which God designed it to take place, that is, in a covenant relationship with another human being for life. Our culture is certainly talking about sex. In fact, our culture uses sexuality to drive people's decisions every day. So why is the Church remaining silent, I wonder? It is time to talk about it, my friends. I believe that for every gift God has for us, Satan has a counterfeit. Sometimes it is difficult to discern the difference, especially when we are being barraged by lies. Thus, this is the importance of surrounding ourselves with people who will tell us the truth in love. It is so important to have those people in our lives who will love us right where we are at enough to not let us stay there. You know the kind of friends I'm talking about. It...

The Bible - I absolutely love God’s Word! It is full of relationship wisdom and so much more! Reading through the Gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke and John) and simply observing the life of Jesus is a great place to start in gaining wisdom for the relationships in your life. In addition to the Gospels, the books of Ruth, Proverbs, and Psalms have all been especially meaningful to me in my journey of singleness. All of Scripture is a love letter to us from our Heavenly Father so it is all extremely relevant. My word of encouragement is to simply ask God where to start reading and then live and breath whatever He leads you to read! One of my favorite online Bible resources is Blue Letter Bible as it has multiple versions of scripture (e.g. NIV, NLT, ESV, etc.) and it has powerful study tools if you want to do a more in depth study. The Supernatural Powerof Forgiveness by Kris Vallotton and Jason Vallotton – I believe knowing how to forgive and receiving forgiveness is key to havi...